either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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