It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize