brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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