I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
