would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
