Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
