I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
