That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
