i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want to stick my p in your. b.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
