just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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