so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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