Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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