At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
