Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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