I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
