Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
