You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
whose ass print is on the piano?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
