i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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