Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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