Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

IT'S SUMMA TIME

(907): View more from Alaska

ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

THEY'RE THE SAME THING

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(312): View more from Illinois

If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin

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(770): View more from Georgia

It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front

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(314): View more from Missouri

Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?

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(716): View more from New York

my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED

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