I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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