ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
