I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
