he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
