it's not cheating when I paid for it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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