Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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