I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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