i wish my penis had a tongue
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize