Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
