i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
