I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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