I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
