Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
