I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
