that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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