Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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