is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize