I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
