I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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