come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
