: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize