saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
