I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
