Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
