if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
