There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
