The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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