We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize