Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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