Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
