Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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