this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
