woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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