she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i came on her dog
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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