I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
