I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
