Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
