I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
