So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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