After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm at about main and main street
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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