yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize