left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You should frame my arrest warrant.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
