I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
