i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
