Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
