walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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