She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There are leaves in my underwear?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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