He is an equal opportunity slut.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize