i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
