I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You made out with two different species that night
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think weed is turning my hair brown
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
