That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
