Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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